Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Beauty: Remember the Big Picture

We always, and everywhere, try to be beautiful, and in the process a mirror becomes more personal to us than we are to ourselves. The process of becoming beautiful and looking good is so rapid that what we become is just an outward us. Is being beautiful so important? Even now we see the most popular people not so good-looking, and the most beautiful people next door not so popular. Does beauty really matter? Probably it does, particularly for people who have a dying preoccupation for the body and would go to any length to safeguard it. No wonder then, despite nearly thirty years of feminism, beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar a year business. Those who make money have a mind, and those who spend have forgotten they have it.

There are plenty of women out there who spend loads of money to improve "flaws" that are so tiny and practically invisible that you'd need a magnifying glass to see what they're talking about. Call it vain or whatever but most women are suffering from one.

I do not consider myself as beautiful; just an average girl as what most people would find me. For me beauty is a very subjective topic to talk about. As they always say 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'; everyone has their own take on how they define the beautiness of something or even towards a person. Ask any man what would he look for in a woman? It's a question that has baffled women for ages. What do men consider beautiful in women? And what did they find beautiful as far as looks? When it comes to physical attributes, yes the eyes have it. Well you can blame it on the media cos they show us busty females with perfect bodies plastered across our television screens, billboards, and posters, or skinny little models posing in barely there undergarments and designer clothing and we automatically think; "The woman of every man's dreams". But ask any guy and you may very well be surprised to learn those perfect bodies and skinny models are far from his dream girl.

So what gives? Personally, I think a woman who carries herself well with confidence that radiates and is comfortable in her own sexuality; that's what I call beautiful. Its the woman personality that turns head and I believe it's what men considered beautiful the most.This has much to do with ones inner beauty more than her outer beauty.You can't afford to lose sight of the big picture when it comes to it. Focus more on good things and worry less about those superficial thoughts. Least do we realize that we would look the way we are, and an expression on our face is actually the reflection of what we are from within? We can camouflage the exterior, but what can we do to the interior. Our goodness or badness, generosity or animosity, or love or hatred, all show somewhere here or somewhere there on our bodies. If we are good from within, our face reflects a mesmerizing state of goodness; if we are not, we clearly show it through our expressions.We should value inner beauty as much as it does value outer beauty. Beauty is nothing but a mindset, and you are actually a positive or a negative mindset when you look beautiful, or do not.

Monday, March 8, 2010

How sweet is Revenge?

It's been a while since i last posted an article in my blog. Well, something prompted me to do so and i feel the need the share it with others from my female point of view (guys might have their own take on this, i reckon) before many fall for his trap.

Few weeks back, I stumbled upon a Facebook account of one guy (I address him as Mr D'Royale Fren) I used to befriended with just to find out that he is an imposter preying for young girls for his mission to take vengeance for himself. I still can't get it cos he seems to live such a perfect life with perfect wife and beautiful daughter. Perhaps something had happened in the past and he just couldn't let go and thus urge him the necessity to inflict punishment in retaliation for something harmful that they have done to him.

Taking one example I got from the internet for instance. It was about a young lady named Theresa Wilson. She is no exception from feeling offended and hurt too. It was only about an hour later that she spotted him driving on the street in front of her. So she put her frustration in action to ram his car. Not once but twice. After the second slam into his rear bumper, she had forced the car off the road. Only when the driver got out and started toward her did she realize her mistake. It wasn't her former boyfriend. It was a confused fellow driving a car similar to his!

For her out-of-control assault on an unsuspecting and innocent driver, Ms. Wilson was arrested by state troopers on charges of vehicular assault. She not only learned that several different makes of compact cars from the 1980s look very much alike, but that revenge is seldom as sweet as it looks from a distance.

Before we are too harsh with an angry woman bent on revenge, maybe the rest of us need to ask ourselves a few questions: How prone am I to harbor a grudge? How inclined to get even when wronged? How quick to take offense?

Nobody likes to be rejected. Nobody likes the feeling of humiliation and injury that comes of the experience. We human beings have feelings and don't appreciate having them stomped and betrayed. Let us pause for a while and take sometime to think of consequences of the action before we even out a score.

I am a religious follower of 'The adventure of Merlin' tv series; its aired every Sundays at 9pm. There is a line near the end of Camelot that stuck in my mind the first time I heard it. As King Arthur surveys the ruin and carnage of war, he looks forlornly over the landscape and laments that revenge is "the most worthless of causes."

Countless wars have been fought to avenge tarnished honor. Friendships have been destroyed, marriages broken apart, and children set against their parents for this most worthless of causes. Simply because it leads to such terrible outcomes, most of the great ethical teachers across the centuries have rebuked the urge to retaliate.

If you have suffered some slight that is haunting you still and tempting you to get even, you might reflect on Theresa's experience. Is the pettiness of revenge any less if you ram the right car? Hurt the person you intended to injure? Or does retaliation simply diminish you and reveal your lack of character? Revenge is never about getting even but is always a form of falling below another person. Only forgiveness allows you to rise above.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your cooking skills or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. After all, revenge might seems sweet in the beginning but the aftermath could be restless and it is one you have to deal with for the rest of your life. Think about the butterfly effect.